The Lockout is Over!

In a scene reminiscent of the Philadelphia Phillies’ 2008 World Series win, throngs of fans paraded down Broad Street, cheering, dancing, and looting in celebration of another iconic moment in Philadelphia sports. Ball & Oates, the nonchalantly dynamic powerhouse basketball team in the Philadelphia Sports Network (PSN) Sunday league, announced that they are back for another season.

The news broke shortly after the dispute between the team’s owner, GM, and captain, GP “Cuban” Guercio, and PSN officials was resolved at 12:01 am Saturday morning. The two parties clashed over player profit sharing (translated: $98/player league dues) and scheduling conflicts (translated: Cuban forgot to register the team by the deadline). The dispute caused a 68-day lockout, effectively delaying gameplay for a full PSN season. However, once the two sides reached a deal, which involved Cuban taking the PSN league’s demands lying down, it became clear that basketball activities would resume. It was only a matter of time before Cuban rallied his team together and officially inked Ball & Oates to a highly-anticipated third season. It went kind of like this:

The fans’ excitement is dwarfed by the Ball & Oates players’ own excitement. Team utility man and resident Florida enthusiast, Cameron “Killa Cam” Cassedy took to Twitter immediately after the lockout ended, saying “so exxcitd to b bak for anthor seesn – reddy to play hard n get mself a chmopenship ring #KneeDeepInWomen”.

Fans can expect to see a somewhat different team take the floor this Sunday at the Sporting Club at the Bellevue. While the core of the team is still intact, which includes Rudy “Rude Boy” Shah, Drew “Jrue” Schneider, Michael “30 Minutes Late” Colosimo, Steve “Chief Salgats” Salgado, Cuban, and Cassedy, there have been a few new additions as well. The team picked up center Matthew “Big Beard” Brady and Matthew “Dennis” Farina, as well as officially signing Joe “Kobe” Koeble to a long-term contract.

While expectations are higher than ever for B&O, the team has never had a winning season. But as the old saying goes, “never go to a brothel in Singapore.”

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