Ball and Oates – Game 1 Recap

The Ball and Oates team is taking a much needed day off after opening their inaugural season with a disappointing loss. The team fell to Hot Hands on Monday night, despite their expectations of having an undefeated season.

GM GP Guercio chalked up the team’s performance to “first-game jitters.” “We were just getting our chemistry right, these things take time.” The GM then echoed the sentiments of his less successful and less handsome counterpart of the Phillies, Ruben Amaro Jr, “we will be looking to make trades at the deadline if necessary.”

One writer for ESPN commented that the Ball and Oates team “looked like the NBA all-stars after the animated aliens sapped away all of their talent in Space Jam.” However, the team showed much promise throughout the entire game, with great hustle from Tim “Timbo Slice” Robinson and Ethan “ET” Tannen, who insists that Evan Turner of the 76ers stole the nickname “ET” from him. Chris “Fire Crotch” Kuncio was very successful down in the paint and capped his evening with an impressive reverse. Perhaps the most impressive performance was Jon “Stroke City” Skale, who came off the bench to shoot 3-3 from beyond the arc. When asked about the sports media’s comments comparing him to Ray Allen, Skale responded “I don’t know who that is, but I’m sure he sucks compared to Jodi Meeks.”

Ball and Oates looks to bounce back and take Game 2 next Monday night. In the meantime, the players will sort through hate mail and listen to the Rocky IV soundtrack to prepare for their next matchup.

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