Ball and Oates officially ended their slump last night with a win against Below the Rim, the team with more ink between them than an Office Max. The win came in the final game of Ball and Oates’ homestand, as they now go on the bro’d to try and win out the remainder of the season.
The Ball and Oates fan base is energized by the victory, especially due to the strong second half played by the team that accounted for the win. The players can’t go to the grocery store without crowds of cheering tween girls and soccer moms, kind of like when Hanson was popular in the ’90s. Gestures of the fans’ appreciation continued when they took down the “Fire
Andy GP” sign hanging outside their home stadium.
Ball and Oates victory was especially sweet since the team was losing by 5 at the half. At that point, all hope seemed lost and starting center “Timbo Slice” Robinson, before going on a baseline jumper tear in the second half, began making arrangements to air The Decision, when he would reveal to the world that he’s returning to play in the Mt. Airy church league instead of resigning with Ball and Oates.
Starter Ethan “Eastern Time” Tannen, who can’t get a break and was subpeonaed by Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment over the use of the nickname “Extra Terrestrial”, was dominant both in the paint and on the outside game. Jon “Stroke City” Skale was on point from the free throw line, which gave Ball and Oates the late-game cushion… for the pushin’. GM GP “Cuban” Guercio finally made more than one shot, hitting two clutch three-pointers, and justifying his decision to be an owner/player, which hadn’t been seen since the less-talented and less-meaningful Michael Jordan did so with the Washington Wizards in the early 2000s. Strong play from Leo “Ratliff” Guercio down in the paint, Isaac “Newton” Perron and Matt “Wim Job” Wimmer on the outside, and Tony “Broni” Kauffman on point all contributed to the long anticipated victory.
The skeptics are out now, however, as Ball and Oates next week takes on the top ranked Hot Hands for the second time this season. Will their win streak double next week? We shall see. In the meantime, the players will be icing their balls an spitting up blood after a fierce post-game celebration at Woody’s in Center City.